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How Collaborative Divorce Can Benefit Your Children


Divorce may be hard on you, but it’s even harder on your children. By opting for a collaborative divorce, you can spare them the emotional turmoil that comes with a knock-down, drag-out contested (and contentious) divorce. During a split-up, children are especially sensitive to how parents react to each other. By minimizing turmoil, you are helping your children feel safer, more secure and, in all likelihood, more comfortable about expressing their own feelings.

Collaborative divorce reduces conflict

Conflict equals chaos, and whether your children are five or fifteen, they crave consistency and stability. While it’s true that their lives are going to be different once you and your ex go your separate ways, reduced conflict is better for all involved. Collaborative divorce helps you and your spouse, through the assistance of a trained collaborative law team, negotiate rather than fight, so your children don’t feel like they’re living in a “war zone.”

Collaborative divorce promotes emotional stability

When children witness their parents fighting (whether in a marriage or during divorce), it can cause fear, distress, sadness, worry or anxiety. In one study, the author states that “Children are like emotional Geiger counters…kids pay close attention to their parents’ emotions for information about how safe they are in the family.” There are bound to be disagreements and points of contention in a divorce, but, as the author further states: “It’s how the conflict is expressed and resolved, and especially how it makes children feel that has important consequences for children.”

Collaborative divorce encourages co-parenting

Children do best when both parents create solutions that lead to positive, healthy and loving relationships between the child and both parents. Making children a priority is at the heart of collaborative divorce by:

  • Establishing ongoing, constructive communication between parents when making decisions about raising their children
  • Creating the best possible post-divorce relationship between parents
  • Developing a parenting plan that puts your children’s needs at the forefront
  • Finding solutions that lead to positive relationships between your children and both parents

Collaborative divorce respects your family’s one-of-a-kind nature

One of the greatest advantages of collaborative divorce is that you and your spouse, not the courts, control the outcome. Because it is flexible and adaptable, it allows both of you to be creative in your solutions in matters ranging from division of property to parenting issues. That creativity is something no California divorce court can ever duplicate.

Contact a skilled collaborative divorce attorney in California

If you are considering divorce in the Fresno and San Diego areas and feel that a collaborative approach might be right for you and your family, contact The Law Office of Rebecca Medina today at 559-324-5427 in Fresno or 858-285-4315 in San Diego. We have many years of experience handling collaborative divorces and take pride in helping people resolve their divorces in the smoothest way possible.

Rebecca MedinaAbout the Author: Rebecca Medina

Rebecca Medina is an experienced Family Law attorney, mediator and Collaborative Divorce Lawyer serving the Fresno and San Diego areas. She handles cases ranging from complex divorce matters to child custody, spousal support, prenuptial/postnuptial agreements, QDROs and uncontested divorce cases. She was rated “Clients’ Choice” by Avvo.

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